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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28037898">struggles wearing the mask of rebellion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kebluver/pseuds/kebluver'>kebluver</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dreamcatcher (Korea Band), The Boyz (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crush at First Sight, M/M, Minor Character Death, Poor vs. Rich, Rebellion, Revolution, a lot of blood, and blood too, and im pretty sure kevin gets a concussion, authorities just hate them all, fuck corporations, im p sure i was on an energy high when i started this, lapslock, like a fuckton of violence, only authorities die bcuz i hate them, thatll be figured out sometime in the story, theres a lot of violence, theres small moments of homesickness, they call themselves the red robins, this is really long</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:13:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28037898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kebluver/pseuds/kebluver</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>he had lost anyone he ever loved anyway, so what was the point of trying to make things better now? he dropped out of college, couldnt get a job because of that, and didnt have the money to go back. he was either dying homeless, cold, and starving or he was gonna have cops on his trail until his last breath. the second option sounded more interesting, anyway. at least it left a smile on his face instead of tear tracks and made him feel alive. he wouldnt want to have it any other way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>struggles wearing the mask of rebellion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>note: the plot is completely inspired by wretched and divine by iridescene / 10softbot. i most definitely did NOT come up with this plot by myself. as much as i would like to be, i am not that creative. title taken from numb by cix.</p><p>teen and up for swearing and violence.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>kevin had been living like this for as long as he could remember. he couldnt remember any point in his life where he had lived as well as the higher class was. was he a bit salty? oh, surely he was, hence why he would steal from them, constantly on the run from authorities. a bag constantly was over his shoulder, full of dollar bills and whatever other goods he could find. he didnt feel bad, but he supposed that thats bound to happen when you have grown to be void of any emotions, just numb all the way down to the tips of your toes.</p><p>kevin, although as hesitant as he was, walked the streets with a mask over his face. he hoped that no one would recognize him if he did so. but then again, authorities were persistent, werent they? its the best that he could do, with his torn clothes and weak body sculpture. either way, he didnt know if they had a tracker on him or not. but with the way that almost every night he had to fight for his life, his pocket knife constantly red with dried or dripping blood, he would be surprised if they do.</p><p>honestly, in kevins own personal opinion, authorities needed to start doing a better job with how they tried to slaughter him. they never changed up their routine, it was quite funny to him. at some point in time, instead of crying to himself at nights, it turned to bitter laughs. sure, it sucked to lie like this, but was there anything he could really honestly do to change it for the better?</p><p>he had lost anyone he ever loved anyway, so what was the point of trying to make things better now? he dropped out of college, couldnt get a job because of that, and didnt have the money to go back. he was either dying homeless, cold, and starving or he was gonna have cops on his trail until his last breath. the second option sounded more interesting, anyway. at least it left a smile on his face instead of tear tracks and made him feel alive. he wouldnt want to have it any other way.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>clubs werent necessarily kevins atmosphere, yet here he was anyway, multiple males and females trying to flirt with him. he assumed they had no idea who he was, and that was for the best. he wanted it to stay like that. but fantasies dont always last forever, a shiver running down his spine as someone tapped his shoulder.</p><p>" why do you feel so tense, kevin? its just me. " he swore he recognized that voice, but it took him turning around to know who it was. lee siyeon. he hadnt seen her in ages.</p><p>" siyeon? what are you doing here in japan? i thought you moved back to korea. " he questioned, shocked yet keeping his voice low. he didnt want to risk anything.</p><p>" dont ask questions you dont want the answer to. but you arent looking too healthy, and i dont either, so i think i know exactly where to take you. you hate clubs anyway. besides, it gives us a chance to catch up after... how long has it been, seven years? "</p><p>they had each other up until siyeons senior year of high school, dropping college for the same reason kevin had and disappearing off to korea. he hadnt seen a trace of her until now, seven years later. of course he had missed her, but he somewhat forgot of her existence in the midst of this mess of a lifestyle he had going on as of now. it wasnt anything wrong with her, he just had a fight to focus on. alone. yet, with how siyeon had explained the place she was taking him to, it didnt seem like he would have to be alone anymore.</p><p>he was just fine with it, it just meant he had a higher chance of succeeding in this game.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>there were too many eyes on him. kevin wasnt expecting there to be only a couple of people, but he also definitely didnt expect to see this many. yet, amongst all those eyes, only one person caught his attention. not because he was familiar, but instead because he was just... interesting. it seemed like he didnt fit in with the crimes that came with such a revolution, even with his strong body physique. it seemed that the boy wouldnt harm a fly.</p><p>" siyeon, who is this? " goodness, even his <em>voice </em>screamed harmless. but then again, kevin shouldnt assume anything. maybe that was just his charm, a facade. but he sounded so... <em>hesitant.</em></p><p>" this is... hey, what name do you prefer? your english one or your korean one? " siyeon started, soon turning to kevin for confirmation. she had always been like that, compassionate yet dangerous at the same exact time, with a soft heart yet sharp and piercing eyes.</p><p>" english, i can trust them. " he muttered to the older girl, a smile slowly spreading across her lips. he knew it was because of the last part of what he said, about him knowing that he could trust the rest of them even with his trust issues.</p><p>" this is kevin. kevin moon, " small gasps filled the room from some. he must be well known, then. " hes one of my childhood friends, but this is the first time weve met after seven years. sangyeon, youre willing to let him in, right? to rebel? "</p><p>" do you think im stupid, siyeon? of <em>course </em>we're letting him in. hes insane, hes perfect for us. " at this, kevin smirked a bit, his ego being boosted by an amount that probably wasnt good for him at all. " allow us all to introduce ourselves. im lee sangyeon, as you probably know by now. he... hes rather shy, so thats jacob. jacob bae. " so <em>that </em>was the boys name. hm, he had a cute name too. fit him well.</p><p>in all, there were eighteen people, including himself. sangyeon, jacob- oh god, <em>jacob</em>- younghoon, hyunjae, who preferred to be called that over jaehyun, juyeon, chanhee or new, changmin or q, haknyeon, sunwoo, eric, minji or jiu, bora or sua, siyeon, of course, handong, yoohyeon, yoobin or dami, and gahyeon. it was a lot of people, but kevin thought that he could handle it. it would be okay, because after all, the more the merrier. <em>especially </em>now, in such rebellions as this. maybe not all of them would make it out alive, but he believed that they could, no matter what happened.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>surely siyeon had caught on to how kevin had been staring at jacob, with the knowing smirk plastered across her face as she patted the seat next to her so he could sit in between the two. he wasnt complaining, no, not at all, but he may start to if siyeon keeps on giving him that look. but he ignored her as of now, deciding to pester her about it later. however, things still needed to be sorted out.</p><p>" so, kevin, " yoohyeon started, causing the younger boy to look away from the boy who was about to fall asleep, contemplating on if he should move his head to be on his shoulder so he could be more comfortable. " obviously youre a thief, your name is on the authorities hitlist, but what do you use to fight for your life? youve got some nasty scars there. "</p><p>instead of answering verbally, kevin simply tugged his pocket knife out of his jacket pocket, the dried blood on it and rust not fading in the slightest. he could hear hyunjae let out a small laugh, nudging eric before pointing towards his knife.</p><p>" eric used to carry one of those around, but then he lost it and we had to move bases. " he spoke, still laughing. kevin had quickly learned that when it came to the brunette, he wasnt truly mad, yet he was simply lifting the mood, using any embarrassing moment as a joke instead of blackmail. it was just how he worked.</p><p>" hyungggg, stop! " kevin couldnt help but chuckle a little bit at the whining, though quickly stopping when the blonde beside him stirred slightly at the noise. he patted the older males head, mumbling something to him that, if understandable, wouldve been something along the lines of 'shh, its okay, go back to sleep. '</p><p>when kevin looked back up again, the three others had small smiles on their lips, along with juyeon and minji.</p><p>" hey, kev? " at the oldest girls voice, his head looked over at her as he tilted his head. " i think that youll be good for him, treat him well. " he seemed to be slightly shocked at her words, a hint of offended glimmering in his eyes.</p><p>" you think i would have the audacity to harm an angel such as him? " he asked, though his voice hushed as he finally directed jacob to lean on him. " i would be out of my mind if i would. " he would start preparing for siyeons teasing early, knowing that it was yet to come later.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>the next day was the first time in quite a bit that kevin heard sirens, and even with however many times he had heard them, he still flinched. seemingly, jacob felt this, as though hesitantly, his hand moved for him to gently brush his fingers against the others. the younger just held his hand as a whole, hugging him as close as he could for both of them to be comfortable before he heard the voices speaking. the familiar voices that would sometimes haunt his nightmares in the deepest, darkest corners of his mind.</p><p><em>" yet another thief on our blacklist has gone missing. we assume that hyungseo, better knows as kevin moon, has found the group of red robins. keep your eyes out for a group of now eighteen young adults in the darkest alleyways. put your trust in the government and the rich, not the poverty. " </em>from afar, kevin could hear sangyeon scoff, and from beside him, siyeon rolled her eyes.</p><p>" well, ill go plan things out with sangyeon. talk amongst yourselves, but dont be too loud. we'll have another stop to make too, so dont be too upset if anyone falls asleep- handong, new, im looking at you two- dont be too upset if we wake you guys up. " and then she got up, her footsteps being the last noise to be heard in the room for a few moments.</p><p>" kev, " spoke a soft voice from beside the black-haired guy. " do you know how to use any weapons other than your pocket knife? " kevin hesitated. not because he was thinking up a lie, not because he didnt know what to say, but simply because he had far too much experience with guns, knives, molotov cocktails, bows and the such for a twenty two year old man. he was supposed to be doing something for a living, not trying to throw over the government and trying to make such a large city suitable to the poor peoples tastes.</p><p>" yeah, i do, im just best with my knives. " jacob let out a small hum at this, moving for his head to be buried in the younger neck once again. they hadnt known each other for long, maybe a week or two, yet they were this close to each other. not close enough to brush lips, but close enough to whisper sweet nothings into each others ears, close enough to hold each other close, close enough to not have to wonder about <em>this isnt what friends do.</em></p><p>although kevin had no idea what he meant to jacob, the blonde was someone he would fight to the death for if he was told he must for the other to be happy. despite such a short time, he had grown a feeling towards the other that was much more for him to describe it as <em>just something you feel about a friend.</em></p><p>sometimes, the insecurities of his that still lingered around his mind and made his ears ring told him that it was because he was attention deprived, and that jacob was the nearest one who would be kind enough to give him just what he needed. but kevin knew that that wasnt what this was, it was so much more than just one or the other being attention and affection deprived.</p><p>maybe kevin was falling in love with someone he could consider his partner in crime, but was there anything he could do to stop it when he practically spent all day and night with him in a cramped and abandoned apartment all eighteen of the called home?</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>from when kevin joined these people, he didnt expect to be fighting this early. but then again, he wasnt really surprised. the government, albeit not too good at doing so, would do anything simply to wipe them out. but that wouldnt happen, no. even with the blood from the rather deep wound that was trickling down his arm, even with how his ears were starting to ring just slightly, he knew that none of the eighteen of them would let themselves be annihilated so easily.</p><p>and now, in this scene in front of them, he learned that if need be, jacob was <em>not </em>always an angel. it seemed as if he would take the anger and betrayal that was bubbling beneath his skin and use it in a fight. almost seeming vulnerable at first, yet attacking if anyone from the opposing side came close.</p><p>at some point in time, kevin had lost jacob. he came here by his side with the blonde clinging onto his arm, whispering hushed wishes of luck to one another before yet another battle began. and although kevin could still see him, he wasnt too sure if the older could see him. however, he probably shouldnt be focusing on that as of now, with another stab wound coming from behind him and all.</p><p>he allowed himself to be absorbed in the battle, allowed himself to stop thinking of jacob for just a few moments and fight for his rights, for his life, because he deserved something better than being forced to live on the cold, hard streets if unable to buy a mansion. this isnt what he wanted this town to be like, and if that meant that he would have to build it up from ashes, then that was just fine with him.</p><p>eventually, there was silence. a whole lot of blood and dead bodies surrounded them. none of their people had died, and so far, they are still coming closer to victory. it was a painful walk back to their base, sunwoo having to carry haknyeon on his back so he didnt have to limp, gahyeon clinging to handong for support, and oh god, he had to admit, he himself was quite a mess.</p><p>there were gashes down his back, arms, chest, you name it. his ears were still ringing and he was starting to feel a bit dizzy. had one of the authorities really thrown him to the ground that hard?</p><p>" oh my god, <em>kevin! </em>" it was jacob. kevin knew of his presence before he even spoke, he could feel it. " what the fuck did they <em>do </em>to you? your head, oh my god! younghoon, dami, <em>come here! </em>"</p><p>kevin hadnt seen himself, but based on the fact that he was calling over the two medics, not just one of them, but both, it mustve been pretty bad. he winced when they touched his head, and as they pulled their hands back, blood was dripping down them. he felt tired, not in a way that he would die, no, definitely not, but he felt like he was going to pass out.</p><p>" kevin, what the fuck? what went wrong? " dami had muttered, though mostly to herself than anyone else. " siyeon, sangyeon, can these two skip the stops? ill probably have younghoon go with them, kevin isnt looking too good. " he hated it. he hated all the attention, all the worried eyes on him. but if getting a bit too much attention meant that the authorities wouldnt succeed in what they were doing, he would take it any day.</p><p>" oh, wow... yeah, we'll try to make it quick. you should probably find some more gauze while we're here, maybe even painkillers if you like. i assume you already know we need hydrogen peroxide. " sangyeon replied, his voice booming as it naturally would as one of the two leaders of this fucked up revolution.</p><p>and that lead him to where he was now, pouting because neither jacob nor younghoon would let him fall asleep on the blondes shoulder just yet and hissing whenever anything such as hydrogen peroxide touched his head or just any wound on him.</p><p>" fuck, we're gonna need stitches. only dami and sua know how to do those. <em>fuck. </em>okay, kevin, you can go to sleep now, but jacob, please wake him up as soon as they come back, tell them the situation. dont worry much about him, he'll be okay. " and at that, kevin passed out, curling up to the older and not hearing his small whispers of worry.</p><p>" id kill them for you if they werent already dead. you dont deserve to be hurt like this. " jacob knew that it fell upon deaf ears, and he was just fine with that.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>it wasnt too long until jacob was shaking kevins shoulder, the younger humming out small protests at being woken up.</p><p>" uhm, i dont know whatever happened because after younghoon did all that he could he fell asleep, but he said that he might need stitches and he doesnt know how to do them. " almost immediately, sua was by his side. kevin, eyes still bleary in the daze of being awoken, had no idea that she was.</p><p>" im assuming that youve felt much worse before, so this wont hurt too much, okay? do you mind explaining what all happened out there? " the older girl had a few wounds of her own, a small scar across her cheek and more on her arms. he guessed that she had siyeon do it for her, and he wouldnt be surprised if that was the case. those two were really the most fluorescent gays he had ever seen.</p><p>" a lot of them came from behind me, some attempting slitting my neck, others my back, and someone kicked the back of my knees and pushed me face-first into the ground. they turned me around and i have no idea why they had a <em>bat, </em>but they started hitting me with it. over and over again. it opened up older wounds as well as new ones, and oh my god i think that i may just get sick- " quickly, sua and jacob backed away from him. what came up from his stomach was a mixture of stomach acid and blood. fucking concussions, they were the worst. he could hear jacob wince, his hand coming up to gently pat where there were no injuries on his back.</p><p>now that he thinks of it, kevin is in a rather concerning position right now. with how his shirt had to be off for the wounds on his back, you could see the bruises littering his visible ribcages. he hadnt eaten in quite a while, that much was apparent. he was curled up, his spine threatening to poke through the skin on his back as more and more stomach acid and blood was coughed up in front of him.</p><p>kevin had lost track of time, small sobs of desperation for this whole revolution to be over pouring from him as soon as sua was out of sight. he missed his family, but he knew that they would never take him back. no, not with how they had already seen his face on their tv screen. not with how they were the ones who ratted him out for running off to the alleyways of tokyo. he could never look them in the eye again.</p><p>" i miss my sister, my mom, my dad, i miss them all, jacob, but my dad and sister are in canada, my mom is in korea, but theyve heard about the things that ive done. they dont trust me anymore, they hate me, i betrayed my own family. i dont want to be like this, but this is the only way i can live. you guys are the only people i can trust, the only people i can consider family. " he had sobbed into the shoulder of the other, trying but failing miserably to hide his quiet sobs.</p><p>he failed in seoul. he failed to make it a better place, so now he was trying tokyo. tokyo was far easier if you were to ask kevin, but still difficult. they practically knew their every move. the sirens blared once again, a message for them all.</p><p>" <em>the red robins have struck again. they made their next move with the guards and people of the tanaka family. do not fear for your life, do not fear for the red robins, put your trust in authorities, for we will banish them.</em> " there were no scoffs this time, only worried sighs as eyes trailed to kevin once again. what were they to do with him?</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>the red robins. plenty knew the story of red robin, the boy who stole and gave to the poor. that was the origin of their name. it was now a popular tale amongst the citizens of the town, though every time they heard it, a scowl would appear on their lips. whenever they told it, there was no happy ending. whenever they told it, red robin always died. in their version of the story, authorities always won.</p><p>but that couldnt be the true story, no, not at all. well, they wouldnt let it be the true story. in their story, red robin would take over, make life fair for those who dont have the money that the rich do. all they wanted was a fair society, and thats exactly what they were going to achieve.</p><p>kevin lost track of how many fights they went through without him, somebody always staying behind so he didnt have to fight alone if anyone were to find him. it made him feel weak, powerless, and no matter how many times jacob had told him that that wasnt the case, thats still what his thoughts forced him to believe. half the time, he was curled up in a corner with some scratchy makeshift blanket laid over him as he slept with his head against the cold, bare stone walls. even if he was sleeping, he could still feel the pitied glances he would get from whoever was there with him.</p><p>that was, unless the person he was with was jacob. with jacob, they shared stories from canada, even if the older was from toronto whilst kevin was from vancouver. with jacob, they huddled with each other for warmth. with jacob, he would be asked how he was feeling, both physically and emotionally. and kevin was thankful for that, because taking part in this rebellion took a toll on his mental state, but it would be for the better in the end.</p><p>kevin grew to realize that yes, maybe he <em>was </em>in love with jacob, siyeon was right. anyone could see it but the older. how oblivious he was when it came to feelings almost physically hurt, but if it saved kevin from the embarrassment of rejection, then he was just fine with it. if kevin could at least walk out of this with jacob staying by his side, hand in hand, friend or more, then that would be okay. because anything would be okay if he just got to stay with jacob.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>kevin had heard far too many announcements from authorities, shaming them for what they had done and promising that they would take them over. every time, the boy would let out a small bitter laugh. it was funny how they thought that they could make them regret what they were doing, because no matter what, they wouldnt. he had learned the backstory of how this place was formed.</p><p>after siyeon had learned that kevin gave up on korea, she went there herself to try and succeed. it was there that she found sangyeon, and at the time, sangyeon was only with jacob, hyunjae, haknyeon, and younghoon. they were trying to do the same as she was, under the masquerade mask she had stolen from whatever party store, she had smiled. they formed alliances, even if siyeon had no one with her.</p><p>it was the first house they took down where they met yoohyeon and jiu, huddled in a corner in dresses far too tight for them as tears racked their bodies. they thought they were gonna be killed too. however, sangyeon had seen similar cases, and so he called hyunjae over, the two of them dragging the girls out of the flaming house that smelled of the chemicals of gasoline and matches, <em>heat. heat, heat. </em>and then, there were eight of them.</p><p>at the second house, they met dami, juyeon, and handong. god knows what they were doing, not even they had a clue as they talked in hushed whispers in their own little corner, no screams erupting from them even as the rich in front of them were slaughtered. they followed behind when the eight explained their story, and then instead of eight, they were eleven.</p><p>chanhee, oh, poor chanhee. he was terrified of them, backing into a corner at the sight of a scalding gun. when they asked for his name, he lied, told them that his name was new. he thought that they were authorities, coming for him. he had told them his code name, and from forward on, chanhee was still called new. they were twelve.</p><p>boras story was similar, though only in the way that she lied about her name. she wasnt scared, simply calling for changmin and eric. they came rather quickly, though they had recognized that mask that siyeon was wearing. they had been looking for them for quite a bit now, wanting to join the revolution. and, although reluctantly, sua, q, and eric joined. thats when they were fifteen.</p><p>as for gahyeon and sunwoo, they found them on the streets. gahyeon with her bubblegum pink hair, though toying with throwing knives in her backpack. the rich had assumed that they were schoolbooks. though at night, when one of the rich suddenly collapsed and she was smiling triumphantly, the fifteen of them knew different. sunwoo was different, messy spray paint graffiti reading ' eat the rich, steal their luxury ' in front of him. he knew how to fight too, based off how he knocked a man out when he attacked him for it. they were seventeen.</p><p>kevin knew better than to believe that anyone would feel ashamed of what they were doing, the rich scarred them first, so why not give them something to remember them by?</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>kevin had never felt better than he did now, finally being able to feel the thrill of fighting once again. if he were to put an estimate on how many days it had been, he would guess around three weeks. they wanted him to be at his best to fight again. so here he was, a bag of arrows on his back and a bow in his hands, crouching next to jacob in the silent night. they had to be careful.</p><p>there wasnt a way that they would be able to get in the house, security cameras were spanning the whole yard. and so, they sat just outside the fence, strings of their bows straining against the force of the arrow they held. it was simple, really. juyeon and yoohyeon had sharpened the edges of the arrows to mimic a knife, estimating that around three or five arrows from them would be enough. they had to be quick. however, haknyeon and gahyeon were in the trees with the same arrows, and thanks to sunwoo letting eric borrow his grappling hook, the youngest and sua were on the roof. a shame that there wasnt a chimney, coal-blackened clothes wouldve added to the adrenaline.</p><p>there was only one target, thankfully, the other two targets were covered by the other two groups in different locations. their plan was simple. one would shoot an arrow just past their target, what they called their distraction arrow, and then the other would shoot for whatever fatal location was easiest for them, and then that pair would start to head back home. they thanked the empty midnight streets for such a plan.</p><p>off went jacobs arrow, and then kevins. they left. they could faintly hear the whiz of the other pairs, the rustling of leaves and grass as they landed on the ground once again. they went back home, the six of them, and it wasnt long until they saw the rest of the group as well.</p><p>" <em>the red robins have done it again. </em>" they were closer to success.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>sometimes, kevin thought that he wanted to give up on this. this, this time right now, was one of those times. one of those times where he realized that albeit them doing well so far, there was still so much more to go. they werent even a third of the way done, this is simply just the start. there were still so many chances and times for them to fail, for something to go wrong. anything could happen, and as much as he knew that, he wanted everything to be perfect.</p><p>but perfect isnt possible. this had been proven by when he himself was put on hold from their fights for almost a month, this had been proven by when gahyeon got sick in the middle of a battle, this had been proven by every single event that went for the worst. however, more importantly, kevin knew that it couldnt always be perfect, because ere jacob sat, his head leaning on his shoulder as blood pooled over his fingers, dripping onto the cold hard ground. somehow, the blonde still found a way to smile.</p><p>he had known. kevin had known that he shouldve stayed by his side from when the boy said he wasnt able to get any sleep. he had fallen into the arms of one of their enemy, his lack of sleep causing him to lose his balance. the enemy slit his stomach through his shirt, and most likely wouldve killed him right then and there if it werent for siyeon dragging the boy away and sua slitting the attackers throat. bless them, they were perfect for one another.</p><p>" jacob, please, dont fall asleep. " kevin ignored the waver in his voice, dewdrops forming in his eyes. there was still a large chance that he could lose him if he so much as closed his eyes for too long. he didnt want to risk it. " i know its hard, but please, jacob, baby, dont close your eyes. "</p><p>" did you just call me baby? " had he? kevin didnt notice that he did. either way, the younger ignored the question, opting to worry over how exhausted and damaged the person in front of him sounded. he was terrified. he didnt want to lose him yet, no, he wouldnt be able to live without him, wouldnt be able to live hearing the thought that it wouldve been <em>his fault, his fault, his fault. </em>all of this was his fault, for he hadnt been close enough to catch him instead.</p><p>" <em>fuck, </em>" kevin whispered to himself before tearing his gaze away. " yoohyeon, please, <em>please </em>hurry up, i know that dami is tired but <em>fuck, </em>i dont want to lose him! " he cried out, the sound of his own small sobs overpowering whatever response the brunette had for him.</p><p>" kev, " he immediately faced the blonde, worriedly cupping his face. " you arent gonna lose me, id never leave you alone. "</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>kevin thanked himself for being an insomniac, because otherwise, he wasnt sure if he would be able to do what he was doing right now, pistol in his hand as he <em>waited, waited, waited. </em>it was a long wait, or at least it felt like so. he wasnt able to see the hands of the clock, only hearing its menacing ticking.</p><p>somehow, jiu had hacked into the indoor security cameras, even with their shitty and laggy computer. first, she figured out the mans schedule, and then, she shut them off. they would be heading in at one in the morning, time based on the sky and how their minds felt.</p><p>and so here kevin sat, sangyeon to his left and handong to his right. they knew he would need more people if jacob wasnt there, still healing from his wounds back with hyunjae, gahyeon, and dami. they were sitting still, sitting silently, waiting for the man to come down, whether it be to get a snack or simply go to the bathroom. they needed to hear a creak of the wooden stairs, anything to indicate if the man was coming, so that their plan didnt go to shit. theyve come so far, they cant fail now.</p><p>a bit longer, and then they heard the turn of a doorknob. they got into the proper stance, hiding behind the railing of the staircase and aiming their guns through the crack. they waited, waited, waited, waited.</p><p>
  <em>now.</em>
</p><p>thank god for the silencers, because if it werent for them, then the combination of the old mans screaming and gunshots would be far too much for kevins ears. once again, they waited, then got up and left. not too long after haknyeon came out with a bag slung over his shoulder, no doubt full of whatever money he could fit from the safe, the sirens blared once again.</p><p>" <em>unknowingly, the red robins have killed the one remaining member of the nakamura family. as we mourn his death, please remember how the tale of red robin goes. they will not take us over. </em>" in his head, he could hear the small laugh of siyeon, and he could see the doubting eyebrow raise of sunwoo, yet what screamed loudest in his mind was the feeling of jacob embracing him in his warmth.</p><p>there really was no going back, was there?</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>at some point in time, kevin and jacob had started stealing hidden and short kisses from one another, a stupid, lovesick smile hanging upon their lips as they pulled away. they had started huddling a bit closer to each other, each others warmth enough for them to not need one of the raggedy blankets that had been torn and worn out from the residue of a building they had burned down. they had started looking into the eyes of the other more often, realizing just how much love and adoration showed in them, shining as bright as the stars would if they werent in this god damned air-polluted city. they had started following behind each other on these hazardous trips just slightly closer, hands longing for one anothers touch.</p><p>speaking of, kevin didnt wanna quite let go of their tangled fingers as he pulled jacob up the tree. not only for comfort, but just because <em>god, </em>he really loved him. sometimes, when he would think about what he would be doing with his life if he hadnt joined this revolution, he would think he would be lonely, old bed cold and thin blankets not providing enough warmth for his body as his numb fingers would try to pull it closer to his shivering body.</p><p>more often than not, kevin would ask the blonde by his side what he had done for a living before this whole thing, if he regretted doing this at all. every single time, his answer would be the same, been with all the different words the younger would use to express his emotions.</p><p>" kevin, before this, i was barely even living. and of course i dont regret it, not only am i working to make this a better place, " everytime kevins heart would skip a beat. " but i met you, kevin, i dont know what life would be like without you. "</p><p>the younger would smile as much as his trauma-filled heart and weak, starving body would allow him to. yet jacob knew that it wasnt a sad smile, not one of disappointment, not one of anger, it was just the best that he could do. the best smile he could produce to show he was thankful, because even with all the food that they had stolen before, it was hard to healthily distribute food amongst eighteen people. he had been skinny from the get-go, and now, his ribcages were threatening to break his skin, show themselves to the rest of the world if he gave them the chance.</p><p>but he wouldnt, no, neither kevin nor jacob would allow that to happen, because even with his darkening eyebags, even with his dangerously thin figure, he wanted to make it through this. and he would. with the help of jacob, kevin would make it through this. and without a doubt, kevin would return the favor.</p><p>┉┉┉┉┉</p><p>when kevin joined this group- what some people would call monsters, others saviors- he didnt expect to do this well, to <em>succeed, </em>even. yet here he was, walking out of the last burning building, the last crime scene, the last <em>everything, </em>with seventeen other people, one of which he could now call his.</p><p>oh, he didnt regret anything about meeting jacob, not a single thing. despite their arguments, they still gravitated towards each other everytime, knowing that they couldnt live without one another. and now, <em>now</em>, he could finally kiss his lips, call him his, whatever lovers could do, because jacob had found a way to the what kevin thought would be everlasting whole in his heart.</p><p>no sirens blared any longer, disturbing their peace and causing a war once again. all of them had <em>fought, fought, fought </em>until it was worth it. and oh, was it worth it, torn up clothes replacing with something that could keep them warm, places they could call home with real floors instead of alleyway stone, the pompous and the arrogant replaced with the fair and the giving. homes had been given to the poor, as well as food, money, you name it, they had it.</p><p>kevin and jacob had walked out of this hellhole hand in hand, victorious smiles planted across their lips again. jacob had taught him how to feel again, wiping away the numbness with love and glory. jacob had taught him how to fight for what he wanted, even with how he so badly wanted to give up. there were so many things jacob had taught him, and honestly, he wouldnt give it up for anything.</p><p>although kevin had lost everyone he loved, he had found someone who could stay by his side once again. no matter if he didnt have a job, no matter if he didnt have school or education, no matter if he didnt have money, kevin could live peacefully. he wouldnt die homeless, cold, starving, and he wouldnt die with police on him with his every move. with jacob, kevin would leave this place with a smile, no tear tracks or bitter laughs any longer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>congrats you made it through this hellspawn!! yell at me in the comments because im a whore for attention and praise yes. kudos and bookmarks are always appreciated too!! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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